Wednesday, March 7, 2012



Now that I've explained all that, time for the gameplay.

After the Quiz level, I tried the new green temple icon first.

The Green Temple

Wow. Maybe this is why the game was so weird - one of the designers was clearly drugged out of his mind!

Jokes aside, I was quite impressed by the graphics of this level, as disorienting as they where (But I hate those creepy, blank staring statue faces). The music had a hypnotic, Indian techno vibe to it.

There where two new enemies in this level: a flying ghost type thing with a trunk, and a bat with a horse skull for a face. They appear at random, but I was lucky to get a screencap of them both:

Green Temple Enemies

Then I proceeded to a blue mountain level, expecting another nice, calm stroll.
I took my time walking through, and was completely taken by surprise when this happened:

Not-Moguera Attacks

Not-Moguera came speeding towards me and took off quite a bit of health with his tentacle screws! It only took me 2 minutes to kill him without having to worry about a time limit, but the boss monsters NEVER showed up in the scrolling levels in the normal game. I was worried as to what other rules the game would break.

After another blue mountain stage, it was time to fight Not-Varan,who's replacement was one of the most bizarre things in the game:


This strange creature attacks you by kicking, and also opening up his chest and firing heat-seeking missiles. ....I still don't get it.

Not-Varan fires a missile

The missiles where sometimes a pain to deal with, but I found out you could tail whip them out of the way. Not-Varan was probably the easiest of the monster replacements.

The same could not be said for Not-Hedorah.


Apparently the source of the horse-bats, Not-Hedorah was the most aggravatingly difficult monster to fight yet. Mostly because of his special ability: He could shriek and summon a small swarm of those horse-bat things.

I know there's only two in the screencap, but every time he did this, about 10 would arrive. The AI took advantage of the distraction and attacked twice as fast while the horse-bats where flying around.

Not-Hedorah calls for backup

Once that annoyance was over with, I went through a green temple level to kill some enemies to restore my health. Interestingly, none of the horse bats showed up after Not-Hedorah was killed. And that was when I got an idea:

If killing all the monsters makes the red face show up, what would happen if I avoid fighting Orga, and go straight to the base?

So I gave that a try:


The game told me there was no monster there when I tried to start the base level.
And immediately afterward, the game took control of my Godzilla piece and moved it in front of Orga. My little trick didn't work, so I tried to prepare myself for another chase. But first, I had to beat Orga.

Confronting Orga

The fight with Orga confirmed another thing: Whoever created this game hack was clearly a Godzilla fan. Not only because they picked a monster like Orga, but because they actually implemented something that happened in "Godzilla 2000" in a really neat way.

Orga's Laser

Orga's primary attacks where a punch and a heat beam from his shoulder cavity. But once you had got him down to half his health, he did something new: He would expand his jaws and try to swallow Godzilla, in the process stealing your health and energy!

Orga Consumes Godzilla

But in doing so, he gave himself a new weakness: firing a heat beam into his mouth would take a devastating 4 bars off his life meter!

With that weakness revealed I soon beat Orga, and despite how much I had hoped otherwise, the red face appeared on the map where the base was, and the music stopped.

The Evil Face on Trance

I readied myself as best I could. I started the level, and seeing that it was basically the same as the first, I didn't waste a millisecond before I started hauling ass.

I soon encountered obstacles in the form of the ground tile, suspended in air. Most of them you could jump over or destroy, others you had to crouch under.

About 40 seconds into it I heard the horrible bellowing roar and saw the spider beast following close behind me. Stacks of obstacles barely slowed it down, it would back up and then charge it's way through them, smashing them into bits. And when the smaller obstacles got in it's way, it would expand his jaws and swallow them whole:

Hell Beast Expands It's Jaws

I was afraid, but with fast thinking and faster button pressing I escaped him yet again. I felt really excited, and so I laughed and said "Not this time, asshole!" I decided to take a screencap to celebrate.

But when I said that sentence, just before the level ended, the monster did something that made my blood run cold.

It looked at me.

He heard that

That wave of mortal terror overtook me again, and I sure as hell wasn't laughing anymore.

I took another screencap of the next level title, right before I rushed to the bathroom to splash some water on my face. (And to take a piss that I nearly failed to contain when that fucking thing looked at me.)


*To be continued*

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